In a bold move to simplify your life by making it more expensive, Paramount Skydance has agreed to buy Warner Bros. Discovery for a casual $110 billion and merge Paramount+ and HBO Max into one mega-platform. Because nothing says “consumer choice” like fewer choices. CEO David Ellison assured investors the new company will, “house beloved […]
In shocking news from the hallowed halls of Elite Boarding School for the Privileged and Mildly Unsupervised, Cher’s 49-year-old son Elijah Allman was arrested after allegedly causing a disturbance in the dining hall. Yes. Forty-nine. Police say Allman faces multiple misdemeanor charges, including assault, criminal trespass, and criminal threatening, which feels ambitious for a man […]
WASHINGTON — One year after Attorney General Pam Bondi proudly handed out white binders labeled “The Epstein Files: Phase 1” to a flock of MAGA influencers, Americans are still waiting for Phase 2, which officials are now describing as “very conceptual.” President Donald Trump addressed the missing sequel Thursday. “Phase 2 is happening,” Trump assured […]