Someone Has To Laugh
WASHINGTON, DC – In a move that legal experts are calling “technically constitutional, but bona fide comical,” the Federal Communications Commission announced that talk shows must now give equal airtime to opposing political candidates… because nothing protects free speech like government instructions on who gets to talk.” The rule, backed by FCC Chair Brendan Carr, […]
LAREDO, Texas – In a ceremony that historians are already describing as “deeply unnecessary,” U.S. Senator Ted Cruz was officially named “Mr. South Texas 2026” by the Washington’s Birthday Celebration Association. An organization apparently dedicated to proving that awards can always get a little sillier. The honor was presented at the Laredo Country Club, where […]
WASHINGTON – In a performance political scientists are calling “a masterclass in confident stupidity,” former Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem told Congress that the U.S. government had heroically “found 145,000 missing migrant children.” “Under Biden, more than 450,000 children went missing,” Noem declared dramatically. “But under President Trump, we’ve already located 145,000 of them.” Fact-checkers […]
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