Advice Column – Ask a Kindergarten Teacher

This week’s advice column guest is Mrs. Joanne Sinclair-Rankin. Mrs. Sinclair-Rankin is a Kindergarten Teacher at Waupaca Day School in Stevens Point, Wisconsin. She has been teaching for 4 years. Her degree in education is from the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee. MPL is happy to have her as our guest advice columnist this week.

Alex T. – Effingham, Indiana I got my girlfriend pregnant. That is not a bad thing. We are very much in love. However, she is a tiny woman. She is barely 5-feet tall and weighs maybe 100 pounds soaking wet. She is so dead set on having the baby completely naturally. No drugs. In a bathtub. With a midwife. Her doctor said that it would be very unsafe because of her small frame. He insists that a C-Section would be best. He said that it [a natural birth] could rupture her vagina, cause massive hemorrhaging… possibly life threatening, and could cause permanent damage to our baby. How can I convince her to listen to the doctor?

Mrs. Sinclair-Rankin: Well Alex, first of all, let’s use less provocative words when referring to the “private parts” of your girlfriend. Let’s say she has a “Hoo Ha” down there, OK? No need for vulgarities. Second, I know you’re saying it’s “not a bad thing” that she is having a baby, but Alex… it actually is. I think someone made a mistake. I think someone wasn’t too careful. I think that someone might have used poor judgment. Who do you think that person is, Alex? You’re right. It’s you. I think you have a lot of thinking to do, young man. I would advise you to ask yourself, “Did I put my best foot forward? Did I look before I took that leap?” Just think about that for a while, OK? 

Kaylee F. – Johnson City, Tennessee I am a good-looking girl. I do not have a boyfriend. I like to date people without any strong commitments right now. I like to go out with men and women. But I have taken a liking to one man in particular. He is about 20 years older than me. He is also very well off financially. I’m not a gold digger. I am really attracted to him. I may even love him. But everyone that knows me whispers and comments that I am superficial and after his money. He is asking for a commitment. I don’t know if I can do that. I’m lost. What should I do?

Mrs. Sinclair-Rankin: Kaylee, sounds like someone needs to put the mirror down, and make a smile from that frown. It’s good to believe you are beautiful, but you need to let others compliment you before you keep complimenting yourself. And it’s good to hear that you go out with your girlfriends as well as boys. I’m sure it’s fun for you and the gang to talk about boys, and how cute they are, and it sounds like a sleepover might be fun, too. It’s probably a good idea to ask your girlfriends their thoughts on this man that you are interested in. And guess what. If it’s right, you will definitely strike gold. So, keep digging for that gold, you little gold digger. 

Doug W. – Youngstown, Ohio I hate my job. I hate my boss. I hate getting up and going to work every day. I hate sweating my ass off for $16 an hour over liquid metal. I have more permanent scars from burns on my hands and arms than you could imagine. It looks like I survived a 3-alarm fire. If I don’t get out of this job, I am gonna kill somebody. Most likely my asshole boss. But I’m a high school dropout. I don’t think I have any other applicable skills. And I am scared to be out of work in this economy. I have no idea what to do.

Mrs. Sinclair-Rankin: First off… Language! Let’s CARE, not SWEAR. Doug, Doug, Doug. Ooooo. So much bad language and attitude here, Mister. Think of all the good things you have. You have a job, and you get paid more than a Kindergarten Teacher. Sounds to me like someone needs to bring a peace offering to their big, bad boss. I always recommend candy. Who doesn’t like candy? I know I don’t NOT like candy. See what I did there? That’s called a “double negative.” Which is actually a positive. So, I’m actually saying that I DO like candy. So put a smile on that face, Mister “Doesn’t Like His Job.” Tomorrow, when you wake up, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “Today is going to be a great day because I am going to make a difference.” Cheer up Dougie Downer. Chin up, Mister. Who’s a Winner? That’s right… You’re a Winner, Doug.