Washington, DC – Donald Trump stunned reporters after accidentally admitting he does not think about Americans’ financial struggles “even a little bit” before immediately pivoting into a 14-minute rant about gold-chandeliers, Iranian missiles, and “very poor architecture.” The remarks came after Republican senators reportedly visited the White House begging Trump to focus on rising costs, […]
Washington, DC – America awoke in confusion Wednesday morning after Donald Trump held an emergency press conference from the White House lawn to announce what he called “the greatest space-military operation in history.” Standing beside several nervous-looking generals and a guy dressed like Buzz Lightyear for reasons nobody explained, Trump declared that the United States […]
PALM SPRINGS, CA – In what organizers are calling “bigger than Woodstock” and Rolling Stone is calling “we’ll see,” music producers Steve Greenberg (Lipps Inc., “Funkytown”) and Tim Palmer (Cutting Crew, “(I Just) Died in Your Arms”) have announced a seven-day, seven-night festival featuring nothing but 1980s one-hit wonders performing their one hit, and then […]