Alternatives to Breast Milk

Dr. Boobness recently developed a procedure that will help children in getting the best nutrients. A healthy diet for children starts at the beginning of life. The procedure adds a direct line from the fallopian tube which connects to an endless bowl of oatmeal that resides in the interior walls of women’s abdomen. This creates a fluid supply of oatmeal for all kids from birth. Both nipples will be able to push out fresh oatmeal to children until they are 19. We spoke with one mom about the new procedure and here is what she had to say, “Great for my kids, but horrible for my nipples….they are in fnnn pain….my son is 18 and still going strong…..I am also sick of his friends wanting to sample this shit….this is disgusting…..however, my kids can’t thank Dr. Boobness enough….I am still questioning the entire procedure……oh, I am a doctor and created a new procedure to cut off the Dr. Boobness balls in the most painful way possible….with a butter knife!!!!”