AMAZON CEO WANTS NO MORE REMOTE WORK

After further discussions, the currenting acting CEO and board of directors are putting an end to remote work. We spoke with the current CEO, Andy Pansy,  here is what he had to say, “All employees will start working out of my basement and the back porch…all employees are expected to be able to do the rubik’s cube in 30 seconds or faster (with a blindfold and sulfur under their nose listening to New Kids on The Block)…. most importantly, it is ok to velcro your boss to the wall on Fridays…..remember, you all work at Amazon and we have everything…including velcro…rope….heavy weights….a boat…rat poison and smelling salts…….anything you need for any situation….yes, we sell tampons for dogs for what it is worth!”