Amstrong

Some people in life are dealt a bad hand but in Henry Armstrong’s case he was dealt a life with no hands. It turns out that Henry was born without hands or arms but lucky for him and everyone around him he was born with a great sense of humor. We asked Henry about his life, and he wanted to share his life experiences with MediaPubLive and he said, “So you wanted to hear my exciting story? I’ve got to hand it to you, but I can’t as I have no hands. I have known no other life but the one where I have no arms or hands. I mean, for my whole life I have had to have someone wipe my ass and I can’t even tell you how I have to go about pleasuring myself. It sucks that I will never be able to drive a sports car or any car for that matter but the cars I would want cost an arm and a leg and obviously I can only afford a leg. I have a special phone where I can talk to dial, and I tease my friends that when I butt dial them it’s okay because I meant to butt dial them as I have no other way to dial them. People would always ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I always said a handy man, but I am not sure I am cut out four that job. My dad always complained that I never lent a hand to help out around the house and now you know where I got my sense of humor.”

A week after the interview Henry was arrested at a massage parlor for asking for a “handy” from his masseuse. Police decided to let him go as they couldn’t figure out how to cuff him and had no way of fingerprinting him down at the station.