Antarctica Medical Research Experiencing Explosive Growth

The climate of Antarctica is the coldest on earth! You heard that right, the coldest…. driest…windiest continent on Earth. The average temperature of the most inland part can reach -71 degrees Fahrenheit. This takes the term freezing your “balls” off and putting it into a true reality.

Dr. Davis Michael’s and team have a growing anesthesiologist practice that is booming. They have never had any malpractice cases against them. If anything, have been recognized as the best in Antarctica for the last 3 decades. Recent medical research has resulted in new anesthesiology approaches by this leading practice.

Dr. Micahael’s had this to day, “It is so fnnnnn cold here…….I mean really fnnnn cold……so, we realized this could be the perfect place in the country to perform all surgeries outside on glaciers with zero anesthetic…….heck, these people can’t feel shit…..and even if they are about to die that is where cryonics comes into play……we just leave them there and thaw them out come the summer……so far this is working.”

The result has freed up operating rooms all over the hospitals in town…..heating bills have gone down and patients saying they never felt any pain. Patient, Lisa Warming, had this to say, “I felt no pain…..then again, I feel nothing in my finger tips or my feet…however, I can smell everything and my vision has been restored…and my husband and I are opening a new HVAC business…exciting times ahead!”

The next phase of this leading research will be done by a group of zoologists come next winter. Zoologist Dr. Bill Bixby had this to say, “This is pretty fffd up, but heck, I will try anything once!”