Ask a Boxer

This week’s guest Advice Columnist is LeAndru “Bloody Knuckles” Foster. LeAndru is a professional Boxer who hails from Chicago, Illinois and has been boxing for 24 years (12 years professionally). He has a record of 32 wins (11 by way of knockout) and 27 losses (25 by knockout). He lives by the mantra; “Everyone needs to get punched in the face sometimes to keep from getting punched in another part of the body that may injure them in a completely different way that can hurt even more than getting punched in the face.”

Alexis G – Manitou Springs, Colorado: I love my car. I mean, I absolutely love my car. It is my pride and joy. Unfortunately, I was laid off from my job last week and am worried that I don’t have enough money to keep up with my payment along with rent and utilities. Plus, other things like food and clothes. I have contacted my bank to find out about a small loan to get by for a little while, but without a job now, and not the greatest credit, I am just not able to get one. I have also tried to renegotiate my car loan for a smaller monthly payment, but that didn’t work either. I am thinking about downsizing to a new/smaller apartment, so I have a smaller rent payment, but I am kind of locked into my lease for another 4 months. Is there anything that you can think of that can help me while I am trying to find another job? I really don’t want to have to give up my car.

Alexis, I understand. This is a very flatulent problem. In my past I have had to incentivize my own money at times. Being a professional boxer can cause anonymity in a lot of ways when it comes to owning things. For instance, When I had my first inherently sized money for a televisioned fight, I spent a lot of it on women and entertainingment. Money can be the foot of all evil, is what they say. Irregardless, the most multifarious thing you can do don’t give them any money until you have some money, for all intensive purposes. I hope that this actionably targets your problem. God bless.

Tyler T. – Camden, Maine: My son plays Pop Warner Football. He is 11 years old. And as much as I hate to say this, and I would never tell him this, he is very uncoordinated and just not athletic by any means. But he LOVES Football. I have been trying so hard to get him interested in other hobbies to find something else that he could be passionate about. I’ve bought him a guitar. I’ve tried to teach him Chess. I have been trying to find topics that he may find interesting that he can read books about. But unfortunately, he just has no interest in any of these. What do I do? I am afraid he is going to get seriously injured, or even worse, tormented by other kids for his lack of talent on the field. Am I a bad Father for doing this? Should I just let him keep playing until he discovers his own inadequacies? What do I do?

Well, Tyler. Football is just like Boxing. And you know what they say about Sports; Expectate, expectate, expectate. You have to do what is enormitous for your kid. When I started boxing, I was a small kid and really thinly. I had to work very ectrocutional to get to where I am today. I have never been a champion or have luxuriated a title belt, but I keep trying. Let your kid penultimate until he depreciates. He’ll know what to do. He knows you loathe him. That’s why you’re his Dad.

Dennis B. – Heber Springs, Georgia: My girlfriend and I have vastly different tastes in music. I love classic Rock. KISS, the Stones, the Grateful Dead, Springsteen, etc. She likes Pop. Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, and that sort of stuff. I have been trying so hard to explain to her that if it weren’t for Classic Rock and Roll, there wouldn’t be any Pop music. I try to explain that the reason that these Pop artists sample music from Classic Rock stars is because Rock music was the best. A bass, a lead guitar, drums, and a microphone (and sometimes a piano) is what makes a band. Not a guy playing records from other people’s music in the background that these modern “musicians” sing over. I don’t want her to necessarily stop listening to what she likes, but I certainly want her to appreciate the classics. How can I do this in the best way without just telling her she listens to garbage?

You have to keep an open and nonplussed mind, Dennis. Personally, I like the Blues. I completely prevaricate with you. If we didn’t have the classics, new singers would not be able to reticent their own music. You have to be salubrious and meet somewhere in the middle. Just pretend you like her music. You don’t have to be inflammable about it. Just lie and say you like it. Then she will decimate with you too, also, as well. I think it’s the best way for you both to be macaronic to both of your obelus tastes. Just like boxing, you have to serene each other in order to make a misanthrope of appreciativeness.