Our guest Advice Columnist this week is “Crazy” Larry Makowski. Larry has been in sales for 33 years and has sold everything from Electronics to Women’s Beauty Products to Insurance to Cars. He hails from Cherry Hill, New Jersey and is currently in the Kitchen Appliance Industry.
Jackelyn B. – Wheeling, Illinois – My Homeowner’s Association is like the Gestapo. I have been cited and fined for the color of the trim on my house, the size of my hedges next to my windows, the location of the satellite on my roof, the condition of my gutters, overflow ground water from my yard, and NOW they are complaining about the length of my grass. They are telling me that my grass needs to be 1.5 inches to 2 inches long. My grass is Bermuda and won’t look plush, like it is supposed to, unless it is a little higher than that. Plus, who the Hell is out measuring my grass? My house is beautiful. These house regulating Nazis are making my life Hell. What should I do?
Jackie, I feel your pain. How many times does it take until someone you don’t even know gives you their opinion about what you should do when something isn’t even wrong? I could tell you to buy some new paint for your trim or buy a new lawnmower, but I am not going to do that. Instead, what you need to do is come on down to “Crazy” Larry’s Kitchen Store in the Tri-State area (or shop me on-line) and pick up a brand new E310 Vitamix Blender. With intuitive, versatile controls, exhilarating power, and durability backed up by a 5-year warranty, the new Explorian® Series E310 will forever change the way you cook, it’s never been easier to become a Vitamix owner. You’ll be able to invite these critics over for milkshakes, purees, gazpacho, protein shakes, and so much more. You will escalate their taste buds and bring them to such heights of flavor that they will forget about their problems with you and go about their business. At $349.95, it is an absolute steal!
Bonita B. – Ashville, North Carolina – I am the President of my child’s school’s PTA. It was once a productive gathering of helpful people looking out for the best interests of the kids and helping teachers with projects for them and the community. But now it has become like the WWE. These people cannot agree on anything, and no one listens to anything anyone has to say. They shout over each other the whole time, so no one hears what the other is saying. It is a madhouse. There have even been fistfights. Men AND women. Do you have any suggestions as to how I can get these meetings back under control?
WOW Bonita! By the way, BEAUTIFUL name. And I mean that literally. “Bonita” is Spanish for “Beautiful.” I am certain that the name matches the face. Bonita, I have 2 words for you: AIR FRYER. Next meeting will be your opportunity to bring in some seasoned, non-greasy French fries and tater tots that you can serve with dips of your choice. Some air-fried pizza rolls, pizza bagels, mini quiches, potato skins, chicken fingers, and so much more. Taste in peace without the grease. And while they last, I have the famous Ninja® Foodi® 6-in-1 Smart 10-qt. 2-Basket Air Fryer on sale!!! The Ninja® Foodi® 6-in-1 10-qt. XL 2-Basket Air Fryer with DualZone™ Technology and Smart Cook System. This 10-qt. air fryer has 2 XL independent baskets that let you cook 2 foods at once, eliminating back-to-back cooking like a traditional single-basket air fryer. And can you believe it is only $249.99? Air fry your way into a better PTA meeting, Bonita. They don’t call ‘em “Happy Meals” for nothing!
Douglas B. – Albuquerque, New Mexico – I am an avid golfer. My handicap is 2. I play in amateur events as much as I can. I try to hit the links 4 or 5 times a week, if possible. My problem is that my Club is now open to the public from 10:00 to 4:00. They have started pairing me up with these “hack” golfers. Now my regular 18-holes take about 3 to 3 and a half hours versus 2 to 2 and a half hours like it used to when I was paired with golfers like me. I have voiced my opinion, but it seems to be falling on deaf ears. Any suggestions on how to get my point across?
Doug. As a golfer myself, I feel for you. It is just awful when one or two of these fellas slow you down in the middle of the sweltering heat. Am I right, or am I right, or am I right? Or am I right? Is just tedious. It’s not like you’re going to stop golfing or leave the Club where you have established your membership. But one thing you should do, for peace of mind, is make sure that the day doesn’t destroy you or dehydrate you. I would highly recommend purchasing the 20 oz Cold Vortex Tumbler. This 20 oz. acrylic tumbler is the perfect travel companion! The ingenious top has pull-up straw for cold drinks and seals up tight for your favorite beverages. With a private logo of your choice, it keeps your message visible all year round. The insulating double-walled sides keep cold drinks cold. It’s ideal for use on the course, in your car, or at your desk. It is also available in a 16 oz size. And isn’t $219.99 worth it to stay cool while you are paired with these fellas that just drag your game on and on? Am I right, or am I right, or am I right? Or am I right?
If my dog ran away, would a new microwave be a good idea?