Ask A Scientologist

Advice from H. Lon Rubbard

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Recently I have been having some pain when having sex with my fiance in any position other than missionary. I tested for STDs, and I have none. I do not have a UTI either. Have you come across this? Is there anything you can advise? – Lisa C., Appleton, WI

Lisa. Combined, pain and sex make up the insane Jack-the-Rippers (who killed only prostitutes) and the whole strange body of sex-murder freaks, including Hinckley, and the devotees of late-night horror movies. Pain and sex are both “invented tools of degradation” by “destructive creatures”… Psychiatrists. I hope this helps.

It’s taken me a very long time to come to terms with this, but I have known for a long time that I am gay. I am visiting home for the first time since I have left for college. I am not involved in a relationship, so it’s not like I am bringing anyone home with me. But I feel that the time is right to tell my parents. How do you think I should go about this? – Paul M., Tucson, AZ

“Dianetics: The Modern Science of Mental Health,” classifies homosexuality as an illness or sexual perversion. Individuals with sexual perversions are scored as “the level of the pervert… the hypocrite… the turncoat … the subversive.” Such people are “skulking cowards who yet contain enough perfidious energy to strike back, but not enough courage ever to give warning.” I hope this helps.

I have a girlfriend of 2-years, but recently have become involved with a co-worker. She’s amazing. Everything I have ever wanted in a woman. Smart. Attractive. Successful. She’s just incredible. But I still love my girlfriend. Is it possible to love two people equally? Do I tell each of them about the other? Do I keep my secrets? What should I do? – John W., Las Vegas, NV

Promiscuity inevitably and invariably indicates a sexual engram of great magnitude. Once that engram is removed, promiscuity can be expected to cease. If sex is “misused or abused,” it carries with it heavy penalties and punishments. Nature seems to have intended it that way also. Become a Scientologist to find your way.

But I am a Scientologist.

Let me finish… In a 1967 policy letter, it was declared: “It has never been any part of any plans to regulate or to attempt to regulate the private lives of individuals. Whenever this has occurred, it has not resulted in any improved condition… therefore all former rules, regulations and policies relating to the sexual activities of Scientologists are canceled.” Get all that you can, Brother!

For more information on Xenu, the Church of Scientology’s secret “Advanced Technology,” the extraterrestrial ruler of a “Galactic Confederacy” who brought billions of his people to Earth (then known as “Teegeeack”) in DC-8-like spacecraft 75 million years ago, stacked them around volcanoes, and killed them with hydrogen bombs; send $1,500 to:

Church of Scientology Gold Base San Jacinto, CA92583