Award Season Is Here!!!
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It is Award Season! The best and brightest actors from all over the World are set to see who is the Top of the Top is every category there is! The anticipation is just crazy! And the results are in… It’s the AVN Awards (Adult Video News Awards)!
In the category of Most Pimply Assed Male Lead Role, the nominees were Ira Butttman, Dusty Asswhole, Lance Crackerazz, and Shawn Bumm.
And the Award went to… Dusty Asswhole in “Mary Ass Pimply Poppins.”
In the category of Best Nose to Anal Scene, the nominees were Sarah Shnozwhacker, Lesley Nostrilscenter, Lisa Marie Crackschniffer, and L’Ass L’Taint.
And the Award went to… L’Ass L’Taint in “Ass Sniffers 9.”
In the category of Most Scabby Vagina, the nominees were Patricia Skabbs, Sh’Rhoda Drypuzzy, “Wild” Wendy Krabz, and “Little” Annie Scratchy.
And the Award went to… Patricia Skabbs in “Pickin’ A Winner.”
In the category of Best Ear Sex, the nominees were Darren Skullfuchear, Jarod Sucklobes, Dick Canal, and Marc “Want To Screw You In Your Ear” Goldberg.
And the Award went to… Marc “Want to Screw You in Your Ear” Goldberg in “You’ve Got Something In Your Ear… It’s My Penis.”
In the category of Sexiest GMILF Over 70-Years Old, the nominees were Ruth Levin, Gertrude Christiansen, Rosemary Rothstein, and Claire Johnson.
And the Award went to… Claire Johnson in “I’ve Fallen, and I Can’t Get Up.”
In the category of Sexiest Male Lead Over 70-Years Old, the nominees were David Bolen, Albert Rothstein (husband of Rosemary Rothstein, married 51 years), David Berg, and Ira Mercer.
And the Award went to… David Bolen in “I’ve Fallen, and I Can’t Get IT Up.”
It was a gala event highlighted by musical performances by Kehlani, Cardi B, Shenseea, Doja Cat, and Danny Bonaduce.
Oh my God! This is hysterical.
I have actually been to the AVN Awards in Las Vegas before.
They seriously have crazy categories like these.
The show is 5 hours long.
And Cardi B. actually was the singer at the show!!!
I am catching my breath… this is so hilarious!