Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Lifestyle

Bad Dad

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By Jack Firestone


There are some bad dads out there in the world but MediaPub.Live may have come across the world’s worst dad. Tom Purdy of Iowa City, Iowa may have taken the cake when it comes to being the worst dad and that cake was probably his son’s birthday cake. Tom’s son Kyle is a 12 year old who suffers from lung cancer, which is probably a result of his dad’s parenting skills. Tom explained, “I wanted Kyle to grow up as a non smoker and I was so intent on making him hate smoking that I had him smoke two packs a day. I thought that would make him get sick of it, unfortunately for Kyle, I ain’t raise no quitter, so he refused to stop and instead went to 3 packs a day. People in my community were also mad that I gave Kyle a gun to keep concealed in case of a school shooting. Kyle was the most prepared kindergartner at the time, and I felt he was ready to protect himself and classmates if needed. Sure maybe he didn’t need an AR-15 but I wanted him to be ready in case of who knows what. People always ask me why I let Kyle drive at age 10, and I will tell you what I tell them, what am I supposed to do when you have an AR-15 pointed at you? Exactly, whatever the person pointing the gun at you asks you to do. I am not sure when Kyle became so bad, I do remember when he was 8 and started getting really hyper at home and at school so I would calm him down with a joint. The joint did the trick, but then he ate everything in sight and his doctor told him he had to lose weight. So I did what any other parent would do, I gave him the only thing that helped me lose weight, cocaine. I wasn’t stupid, I gave him half the dose that I used to use and it worked. I hope everything works out for my boy and he beats this cancer thing, worst case scenario, we can get a Make-a Wish deal out of this and he can get the hooker I always promised him paid for by the Mark-a-Wish foundation.”

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