Big Al’s Weight Loss Program
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Getting health advice from an extremely overweight person may not seem very smart. Maybe they have a do as I say, not as I do approach and therefore may not be as bad an idea as first thought. Big Al Hanson, an extremely obese individual has come up with a highly successful weight loss program and it is not a do as I say program either. Al explained, “ A lot of weight loss programs require you to eat only certain foods and exercise more, sure that works but not many people have the willpower to accomplish weight loss through this method. That is where I come in, literally, I actually move in with the client and shadow them throughout the day. When I see them grab something that is bad for them, for example a Twinkie, I simply grab it and eat it myself. Sure, I may gain 30 to 40 pounds per client but they almost certainly reach their weight loss goals within 3 to 4 months.”
Al discussed the problems with his plan, “I have issues when I know the clients are cheating. For example, when I went to the bathroom my clients would almost certainly cheat and eat crap. I figured out a multipurpose solution to this problem, I make them stay in the bathroom with me. They can’t cheat and almost always lose their appetite. There is one additional problem I have, I am on my 7th bypass surgery and the price of insulin for my diabetes gets expensive. I also now have a portable defibrillator on site just in case and thank goodness I have had it available with my last 2 clients or I would not be alive today. I must say this has been my 2nd most successful weight loss program, the only more successful one has been where my clients and I would eat in the nude. Trust me if you do that, you will have an automatic appetite suppressant.”
If you are interested, Al is looking for someone to fill in for him and help him lose weight. If you don’t mind gaining 30 or 40 pounds and would like to apply for this position, please reach out to Al, you just may save his life. He does ask that you get a life insurance policy before you agree to take the job.
