Big Dick Beer

A recent uproar has come about as a result of a beer company making a can with an image of a trans person on it. As a result of the backlash there are protesters jumping into big trucks and running over cans of their once beloved beer to show that they are pissed. A certain company has now emerged in an effort to take the place of the beer and the story is very interesting. Richard Balzer or Big Dick as his friends like to refer to him as has started to manufacture a beer that is being marketed towards Straight men that need to feel more manly. Big Dick explained his new beer to MPL and Said, “My friends and I were so pissed to see a beer company put one of them trannies on a can of my favorite beer because it made my friends and I feel less manly. It made us so mad that we bought 30 cases just so we could shoot videos of us running over the cans, shooting the cans, and hammering the cans to put on social media and we got millions of views of men who wanted to feel manly just like us and that is when it hit me, I need to make a manly beer to sell to those who felt like me. So, I ran in and grabbed my apron and went into my kitchen to make the manliest beer I could. That is how I came up with Big Dick Beer, the manliest beer you can buy. Every guy I know loves it, they tell me that they just can’t get enough Big Dick in them. Think about it, all those millions of social media guys who are pissed can grab a Big Dick and pop it in their mouth and stick it to the other beer company. We have 8- and 12-ounce bottles of Big Dick and man the 8 ounce is usually enough, and because of its potency, most can’t handle the 12 because it’s just too much Big Dick for the average man. However, my wife says the bigger the Big Dick the better.”

While sales have been extremely high for the last few months, the company is being sued because their drink has a familiar flavor. It turns out that Big Dick Beer is a knock off of Zima and they now want their piece of the Big Dick. We will keep you posted of the results of the litigation as things happen.