Bloody Mess
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Life is very tough when you are a teenager, it’s even tougher when you are a female, at least that is what my step daughter says. Now it’s going to get even harder if you are a teenage girl living in Florida and you want to compete in high school athletics. Qualifications used to be easy, birth certificate? Check. Proof of your address so you are confirmed to be at the right school? Check. Proof of your last menstrual cycle? Uh, excuse me? Yes you heard that right, they need the bloody proof. High School student and entrepreneur Chad Reed, has come up with a company in an effort to to capitalize on this new requirement. His company is called MenstraCheck.
Now I am not sure exactly how MenstraCheck is able to verify these athletes menstruation and I don’t think I want to know. However, my Chief editor made me ask Chad about it and he said, “There are a few ways we do this, the easiest is to get a used maxi pad, do a DNA analysis, take a picture and send it in the state capitol. At first I just wanted to know the cycles of the girls in my school so I could avoid getting any of the girls pregnant, it helps me perfect the rhythm method. I also sell the data to area high cool boys, so they too can use the rhythm method. Unfortunately, I gave the results to the wrong guys, but on the bright side, I bet they will make great fathers.”
Chad has also delved into another area with MenstraCheck, but it is filled with controversy. Chad Explained, “Sometimes teen athletes have eating disorders and apparently that delays menstruation, so we sell a discreet service where we help pre pubescent athletes qualify under the new guidelines. We take other girls Maxies pads and add their DNA to the pad and boom they are qualified. We call this “padding” the results. It’s is amazing to think that this came about because of one guy who wanted to win a swim meet so bad in, I think Kentucky, that he had his junk removed. He didn’t care about being made fun of, he just wanted that ribbon. The worst part to me is that we will never see another movie like Ladybug ever come out again.”
