Britain’s Got Talent’s Fiery Act
Share
On April 16th, Britain’s Got Talent was hit with over 300+ complaints after a dangerous, insensitive, and unacceptable act.
Thomas Vu covered himself in a fire-retardant gel before being set on fire. Then he tried, and succeeded in solving a Rubik’s Cube.
The judges were shocked and the audience was horrified to see something that unbelievable and dangerous. He could have literally died and burnt to a crisp.
It was painful for some people to relive, dangerous for kids to see, and just the “do not try this at home” warning was not enough. It was a vast public opinion that this was completely inexcusable to be shown on public tv.
The Producers apologized and immediately cut the following potentially upsetting acts who were supposed to perform in upcoming shows this year:
Matty Kurit who was to kill a dozen mockingbirds with his bare hands in under a minute while the speakers blared Yoko Ono songs.
Arman Oleg who was supposed to juggle 16 chainsaws while covered in Vaseline.
Shakur Bhuti, who was going to try to break the world record for most snails on a face for one minute of 44, while listening to Taylor Swift songs
Yu Suk Ho, a Korean farmer who was going to squirt milk from his eyes into a bowl of cereal which would be eaten by his pet opossum Anton.
Biggie Klapp, who was going to hop to Tupac songs and clap to Notorious B.I.G. rap at the same time while painting a perfect replica of a Bob Ross painting, “The bubbling stream.”
Dim Ho, a middle-aged Chinese man who would try to break the record for most watermelons smashed on a stomach in one minute. All the while eating a bucket of KFC, which kind of sounds racist but nobody is sure if it is.
Porn Star named Misty Night and her miniature albino gorillas who were going to perform an unauditioned act called, “Gorillas in the Misty.”
Matthew Miller-Lite, a man from Floria who plays solo ping pong Forrest Gump style with a record 24 crawfish in his shorts, for a full 10-15 minutes until the audience starts getting restless.
The team of Brad and Jel, who were going to cover themselves with honey and Amazonian fire ants and then play Jenga until they broke the world record of 52 levels to celebrate Brad’s birthday!
