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Not really satire.

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Buffets Are Back

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Buffets are coming back to life after the pandemic! Families and their appetites are going back out for all you can eat smorgasbords!! At one time there were likely over 1,000 buffet locations such as Old Country Buffet, HomeTown Buffet and Ryan’s. But with the pandemic pretty much all of these buffets closed.

Many of the buffets opening up have a twist to them. Staying away from the recipe of unhealthy and boring American steak & eggs menus that previously buffet franchises focused on, the new wave of buffets are leveraging the growing interest and curiosity of American eaters witnessed in reality food TV shows like Diners Drive-ins & Dives, Ugly Delicious and Somebody Feed Phil. So restaurant groups such as the Momofuku restaurant group and Yum! Brands (KFC, Pizza Hut, Taco Bell, and The Habit Burger Grill) are appropriating the popularity of ethnic cuisines and turning them into buffet restaurants.

To celebrate AAPI month, Yum! Brands announced an Asian themed buffet, called Stir Fried Smorgasboard which will feature a different cuisine every night. Some of the “Taco Tuesday”-esque themes include:

Sushi Sundays

Mongolian BBQ Mondays

Pad Thai Tuesdays

Wonton Wednesdays

Tandoori Thursdays

Pho Fridays

Soon dubu Saturdays

Other buffet ideas include:

Funky Ferments Forever – a vegetarian buffet featuring Kimchi, Sauerkraut, Tofu, Pickles and Giardiniera; includes complimentary mouthwash and a breath mint

Perpetual Pasta – all you can eat Ramen, Udon, Pho, Spaghetti, Chow mein, Linguine and more; seating is located adjacent to a couch for intermittent naps.

Meat, Meat and more Meat – self explanatory; barf buckets and defibrillators are located in each booth.

From Beer to Eaternity – all you can eat & drink pub fare and ales; includes the price of an Uber ride home.

Major League Eating, the professional competitive eating league applauded the news of buffets and anticipates an increase in participants to their events.

Health officials have yet to make an official report, but initially some believe that it is encouraging for Americans to go out and eat excessively in public again. Although buffets may pose a risk to an increase in population obesity, they may also provide a community space that could help reduce the harm being caused by social media.

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1 Comment

  1. Jeremy Lin-Guini May 24, 2023

    I’m definitely a Buffetsian. I mean, not a buff Asian but fat AF.

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