Not really satire.

Not really satire.

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Business Consultant

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Business consultant Kyle Hullson is turning businesses inside out with his professional guidance. He is not your average consultant who gives the usual advice you normally hear from upper management. Kyle explained his philosophy, “I like to come into companies and mix it up, if you will. For example, I want the employees to start to think inside the box. Everyone else is thinking outside the box, so right there, you are doing things differently. Other companies want you to go the extra mile, not us, we don’t want you to be tired. We need you fresh and ready to go, don’t waste your energy going the extra mile, if anything, go a quarter mile, that should do the trick. Do not be a game changer in our company. Think about it, we already know the game, so if you change it, what the hell are you going to do, you don’t know the game and you probably aren’t as good at the new game. Our companies never brainstorm, we just brain relax and think about ideas, it’s more of a brain calm. If you were to take a second and think about storms, you would realize that nothing good comes from a storm, and if something good does come from a storm, there is probably insurance fraud involved. So, we would rather you do stuff calmly. When I come into an organization we don’t hit the ground running, it slows us down. You almost have to stop running to hit a ground effectively, so why would you even think about it. Plus, we don’t run as that is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Just to reiterate, we stay in our box, reserve our energy, never change the game, and if you have to run, don’t stop to hit the ground, it will only slow you down.”

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