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Not really satire.

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Canada Statehood Picking Up Momentum

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Co-Authored by Holden Chambers

Dateline:  Estevan, Saskatchewan   September 28, 2023

An unlikely ballot initiative is making its way from this small border enclave to the House of Commons in Ottawa by picking up steam that considers Canada for statehood as the 51st state in the United States.

Junior Gonzalez, the Puerto Rican Canadian citizen in this border town has been dogmatic in obtaining enough petition signatures that may now find itself to the legislative floor in Ottawa.

“As a Puerto Rican native, I always had the itch for becoming an American citizen in the 51st state.  Now living in the great future state of Canada, my dream is closer to becoming a reality” stated Mr. Gonzalez.

“It makes a lot of sense to further increase the alignment, we share beauty, the native English language in most provinces, and are part of the NBA and Major League baseball.  There’s now even Tim Horton’s in the lower 50 states too.” Continued Mr. Gonzalez.

A recent research study from Northern Illinois University shows that 61% of Canadians surveyed support this emerging initiative.  Resident Gilbert Ackerman of Brockport, New York told this reporter “It only makes sense from an American point of view.  We are close brothers and it would be great to adopt the liter system for gas prices and psychologically its lower in liters than gallons anyways.”

Once and if the Canadian House of Commons approves, the initiative will be introduced to United States congress for ratification, requiring a 67 percent majority vote.

Additional information to follow as this story further develops.

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