Canines in the Kitchen: Chernobyl Residents Experience New Domestication of Their Pets

Thousands of years after wolves and dogs genetically diverged, a certain subset of dogs are evolving once again. Dogs living in the area of Chernobyl are experiencing an evolution process similar to the one that happened thousands of years ago at the hands of humans. Back then, during the Stone Age, humans domesticated dogs for farming. Yet now, humans in Chernobyl are once again seeing an advancement in the human/canine connection — an advancement that goes way beyond farming.

A recent investigation showed that Chernobyl dogs are replacing humans’ domestic partners in all areas except the bedroom. Male residents are said to now prefer canine bitches over human females as sidekicks on the couch, for example. The men say the female dogs don’t talk incessantly (or at all) during football season, for example, and that they can also help around the house, thanks to a new genetic ability for their paws to act as opposable thumbs.

“Milly, my five-year-old terrier mix, can open refrigerator doors, turn on the stove, prepare a great seven-layer dip and do the dishes, said Chernobyl resident Ivan Bandiko. “She does all of this without opening her mouth to complain or to tell me how annoying Cindy was after spin class earlier.”

The male dogs in Chernobyl have also evolved rapidly with similar abilities as their female counterparts, and many have even exhibited great talent in the kitchen. One female owner, Kateryna Shevenko, shared a picture of a complex paella dish that Boyko, her seven-year-old male German Shepherd had prepared. Yet, she complained that the male dogs, unlike the females, cannot figure out how to get the dishes from the sink to the dishwasher.

Researchers are studying this lapse in the male dogs’ evolution further. Their studies have found that male dogs are great in the kitchen until they quickly resume their positions on the couch beside their masters.

“With one front paw resting on its ballsack, my dog sits on the couch, barks at the TV, farts and occasionally snores during commercial breaks,” said Shevenko. “My dog Boyko is now eerily hard to tell apart from my husband.”