At Wescott Elementary in Northbrook Illinois 3 kids were diagnosed with “Cooties”. The entire school was evacuated. In each instance, the kids got them from the same kid. His name is Billy Boogershnot. Here is what Billy had to say, “Look, if you are near me…I am wiping that shit on you…….at least cooties go […]
At a press conference this afternoon, a team of scientists from the Winston-Salem-Marlboro-Chapman Institute for Social Research and Advancements in Smoking in association with Anheuser Busch, claimed to have successfully isolated the gene that allows for healthy smoking. “Have you ever noticed that some smokers live cancer free forever, while others don’t?” the Leading Researcher […]
Our guest Advice Columnist this week is Miss Teen USA – South Carolina 2007. To protect her anonymity (and not get sued), MPL will withhold her name. She is well-known for her very “interesting” answer to the question, “Recent polls have shown a fifth of Americans can’t locate the U.S. on a world map. Why […]