Chicago Bears Demoted

Chicago Bears Demoted

After an abysmal performance to start the year, the Chicago Bears have been demoted as a franchise.  Now representing the Pop Warner “League of Players Who Dont Play Good,” are your world famous, consistently underperforming Chicago Bears.  And, since the baby bear name is already owned by the franchise on the corner of Clark & Addison, the new Chicago Pop Warner team will be called Chicago Teddy Bears.

In addition, the franchise has also decided to stop looking for a new location and instead will travel to local parks and playgrounds throughout Chicagoland.

New rules include:

1. Two Hand Touch
2. Nerf Footballs REINCORPORATED ALREADY
3. Water Breaks After Every 5 Minutes
4. One Parental Hug for Every Player That Falls and Scrapes a Knee
5. Apple and Cheese Plates for Each Player After the Game
6. Only ONE Capri-Sun (Budgetary Restraints)
7. Safety Goggles Worn By All Players
8. Each Jersey Must Be Washed By Parents
9. Field Cut Down To Fifty (50) Yards
10. No Betting Allowed

While this may come as a surprise to such a loyal fanbase, realists understands that sometimes taking a step OR TEN THOUSAND BACK, is probably the best thing for the franchise and the poor suffering fans.  The great thing about being demoted now—-zero expectations AND all the juice boxes the players can handle