Chinese Zoo

A zoo in China is fighting for its credibility after people have accused their bears of being people in costumes.

The Hangzhou Zoo stated that “the sun bears from Malaysia are smaller than other bears and may stand like humans.  And they are misunderstood.  Sun bears are the size of large dogs, 50 inches long vs 9 feet average for grizzlies.”

The zoo will be arranging visits for reporters to come see for themselves.

Other zoos have been accused as well, of dogs being dressed like lions, donkeys painted to look like cheetahs, and employees painted to look like John Legend.

While the zoo personnel declined to talk to Media Pub Live staff, I did catch one employee breaking character.  I caught a panda bear with a hump smoking in the parking lot.

I said, “Hey you there!  If you aren’t a human in a costume, why are you standing up and smoking???  Like you are on your break!?”

The panda didn’t say anything, but spit out the cigarette and walked off.

But I added, “Wait a minute, this morning your hump was on the right side, but now it’s on your left side?  Just like Marty Feldman in Young Frankenstein!”

The panda said, “Fuck.  I mean, Shit.  By the way, that movie has always been very popular in China.  Wait, that wasn’t me, I didn’t say that.”  Then he ran off on two legs.

I am beginning to think something is fishy at the zoo.

Except for the soda cans painted to look like koi fish.  They aren’t fishy at all.