Colon Patrol

Life could not be better for gastroenterologist, Dr. Neal Inass. Dr. Inass had his usual morning of endoscopy and colonoscopy cases, however one would change his life forever.  The doctor had his best friend lined up for an endoscopy and all looked great at first, even a small benign polyp as he entered the friend’s colon. He found not 1 but 2 carrots inside his friend, I shit you not.

It was more like 2 karats of a diamond attached to a gold ring. Dr. Inass held onto this ring as his buddy was about to have a big birthday coming up and he wanted to surprise him with it. As he cleaned off the feces filled ring, he saw an inscription inside the ring. He read it, his heart dropped as he realized it was his soon to be ex-wife’s ring.

A ring she swore was stolen from her tennis locker at their club. Dr. Inass now knowing his wife was not only full of shit, realized she was too deep into it with his best friend and could no longer stay in the marriage. While it may be of note that they are swingers and have shared many couples, they’ve always had the agreement that there was to be no ass play and this was obviously violated. Even worse, Dr. Inass felt forced to change his name and personalized license plate. He now goes by “Dr. Crotch” and is a very successful and highly awarded gynecologist.

He is world renowned in the medical field for identifying anything other than blood matter……tumors….his specialty reviews any size orifice. Dr. Crotch had this to say “Look, looking at assholes got old….albeit fairly interesting…..today, I am in an entirely different world solving the worlds problems in peoples urethras…..please tell me, what could me more interesting…..I beg you!”