Cooties Are No Longer a Myth

At Wescott Elementary in Northbrook Illinois 3 kids were diagnosed with “Cooties”. The entire school was evacuated. In each instance, the kids got them from the same kid. His name is Billy Boogershnot. Here is what Billy had to say, “Look, if you are near me…I am wiping that shit on you…….at least cooties go away and so far there is no evidence you need a vaccine……..my dad said he got cooties in 5th grade and it wasn’t that bad…..only part that sucked is he had no friends…….mainly because he had cooties…I guess, back then if you had cooties it lasted the entire year…at least that is what my dad said…he is such a loser….love you dad!”