Delivered Direct to Your Door

We live in the day and age of fast and easy.

If you want your groceries done in one easy swoop, put your list on-line and either go pick it up curbside, or have it delivered by WalMart, Sam’s Club, or your local grocery store.

If you want dinner from anywhere (and I’m even talking McDonald’s, Chick-Fil-A, and Taco Bell), just tell DoorDash or UberEats and they’ll bring it to you in 20-minutes.

Taxis are a thing of the past, too. No longer do you need to hail a cab. Just send your location to Uber or Lyft on your cell phone and you’ll have your chauffeur arrive within minutes.

So what next? What could you possibly want now that you have not been able to get at home in 10 to 15 minutes? Is there anything that is not available with a mere click of a link on your mobile device?

Yes there is…

Welcome to Youber Escorts.

Direct To Your Door isn’t just for Vegas anymore. Now, as long as you are 18 years old, you can request blondes, brunettes, or redheads. Asian, Caucasian, or African American. Fit, fat, or skinny. Young, MILF, or GMILF. All limbs or missing a hand or a leg. Lazy eyes, cauliflower ears, deaf, blind, mute, hairy, albino, or Gigantism… your wish is Youber Escort’s command.

This concept is the brainchild of Pete “the Belly” DeSangialo. As told to MPL by DeSangialo, he had made his fortune in Waste Management in Chicago. He often took business meetings in Las Vegas. He told us what sparked his business model:

“I’ve been treating ‘business colleagues’ to ‘Direct To Your Door’ services in Las Vegas for umpteen years. And these girls aren’t cheap either. It’s friggin’ $250 just to get them to the hotel room before you start negotiating the price for their services. I figure, ‘Hey… if it works in Vegas, why not everywhere else?’ So we tested our theory in Cicero (a prominently Italian suburb of Chicago). There were a lot of ‘Talent Managers’ that had a problem with what we were doing, but f**k them. Free enterprise, right? Some guys had to be coerced to see it our way. And a couple of guys had to go away. And that’s that. Hey. The cost of doing business can be very very costly.”

Although Youber Escorts is not actually legal in any US state yet, DeSangialo told us it is more “frowned upon” than “illegal.”

He told us, “I’ve done a lot, A LOT, of business with local politicians that really like what we got going on here. No complaints from my customers at all. And we have an understanding; if you start busting my business… well, let’s just say I have a very detailed clientele file.”

The service can be found on the Dark Web at www.YouberEscorts.eu/ItsKindaLegal.