Dog Sniffer

Dogs are amazing animals that have served humans throughout their lifetime. Dogs can sniff bombs, smell for fruits and meats at airports and protect when needed. Harry Smeltzer, of Canine Protection has added a new benefit to the utilization of dogs. Harry explained his newest detection, “Dogs have an amazing sense of smell and we wanted to take advantage of this in a way that has yet to be done.  After having a one-night stand last year ending with my crotch on fire, I decided we needed a way to detect an Sexually Transmitted Disease (STD) and that is when it hit me, well that and the shot of penicillin. Dogs could easily be trained to detect the presence of an STD, all they needed was the training. I hired 25 sex workers off the street and went to work for 6 months straight until they had the smells down pat. Turns out I could have used a lab with STD specimens but what fun would that have been, plus when else will I ever be able to write off a sex worker on my taxes?”

We reached out to Canine Protection’s first client, for his protection we will call him Client A. Client A explained how this service worked for him, “I enjoy a good late-night fun and buying a dog from Canine Protection has already paid for itself multiple times. Whenever I have a lady enter my apartment, I introduce them to my dog and if he gives me the signal, I send them on their way. Just last week my dog Rhea sat in front of my guest and gave me the sign that she had Chlamydia by sitting next to her, and pointing her paw at her.  Rhea is truly mans best friend.”