Not really satire.

Not really satire.

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Drivers From Chicago Suburbs Get Chance to Enter NASCAR’s Race

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In just over a week, Grant Park will be transformed into a mecca for race car enthusiasts. NASCAR is coming to town. People from all over have bought tickets to be among the 55,000 daily attendees at this highly-anticipated two-day event. Not only will this be the first-ever NASCAR racing event in Chicago, it will also be the first time that non-professional drivers are allowed to enter the race.

“I have weaved through traffic, sped on the Edens and tailgated in order to get Samantha to preschool, to pick up a latte and to get to my yoga class with minutes to spare,” said Winnetka resident Rebecca Jones, who will be competing on July 1.

Jones’ husband, who also was invited to participate in the race, said “I’m tired of driving my Aston Martin around the burbs … It’s time to open this baby up and let her fly.”

This couple, who has been preparing for Chicago’s race since their parents tossed them keys to new cars at the age of 16, are two of the 20 guest racers who will be joining NASCAR legends in Chicago. They expressed an overall sense of confidence and fearlessness, wondering why some family members were worried about the inherent dangers.

“The stress I feel when I’m behind a left-lane driver who is cruising at a steady 57 has prepared me for the challenges ahead,” Rebecca said, as she quickly sipped her Starbucks drink. “Unless you understand the pressure of not getting a spot in a hot yoga class if you’re late, you can’t fathom how poised I am to kick ass at the NASCAR Chicago Race.”

Many suburban police officers have been betting in their station’s NASCAR pools. The favorites, which are clearly visible on DraftKings, too, all lead to various suburban mom and dads. At the time of publication, Rebecca’s odds to finish in first, second or third place were +200.

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2 Comments

  1. Jeremy Lin-Guini June 22, 2023

    Go Hot Yoga Rebecca!!

  2. MFB June 22, 2023

    Rebecca is not playing games and her husband is not interested in second place.

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