Drunkarazzi

The life of a paparazzi is not easy, they must shadow famous people and get good pictures that can be sold. Most people do not realize that most pictures of celebrities go for virtually nothing. It is the controversial pictures that make the cash, and the paparazzi go out of their way to get that pissed off look. Doug Walters is a member of the paparazzi and shared his unique experience. Doug told us, “I was not just a member of the paparazzi I am also a recovering alcoholic. I am on the 12-step program and boy those steps are steep. I am on the step where I ask for forgiveness of those I have wronged, unfortunately that list is over 123 celebrities long. I am now stalking them for forgiveness, which is weird. I had to hide out in Ben Affleck’s bushes just to pop out and apologize to him for telling him I slept with Matt Damon. Turns out Matt Damon was hiding in the bushes next to me and tackled me before I got to him. I am still not sure if Jerry Seinfeld will forgive me for saying I had coitus with his daughter. I admit I thought she was older than the age of consent but who knew. He had such a great angry face, unfortunately for me I was always too drunk to get a shot that wasn’t blurry. The only shot that I got, was the shot of Tequila, that was hidden in my glove compartment. The hardest thing for me is going to be apologizing to the Rock for telling him I fucked his Rottweiler, and the worst part is that it is sort of true but then again, tequila makes you do some crazy stuff. The good news is that all this apologizing has kept me too busy to drink and my sponsor is always by my side. It helps that my sponsor is also a paparazzi, and he has gotten so many good shots of famous people trying to take a swing at me. He has offered me 10% of all his earnings from any photo I am in, so it’s a win-win situation.”