Edible Rectal Thermometer

Kids are known to always try and put whatever they can in their mouth. Whether it is bad for you like a marble or whether it is designed to nourish and soothe us like a mother’s nipple, kids can’t stop putting things in their pie whole. Carl’s Confectionary in New Jersey is attempting to take advantage of these kids and make everything edible. For example, Carl’s newest confectionary gold is his dark chocolate edible rectal thermometer. Carl believes his edible rectal thermometer will heat up his sales with a fever pitch. The sales of his thermometers have come under fire as there is a direct link to the rise in sales of his delicious treat with the rise in local e-coli cases. Carl defended his company and said “The parents are to blame for this rise in ecoli not my silky-smooth dark chocolate delectable rectal thermometer. It says on the box to eat before inserting or at the very least wash before consuming on either end. We even have a warning that says if you put it in the back to make sure to wash twice, for safety reasons, plus it will taste like shit otherwise. We also warn our customers that once it goes in the ass, if you request a return, we will pass.”

This is the second time and most likely not the last time Carl’s Confectionary will come under fire for their delicious ideas. Their edible cotton candy tampons were a disaster and despite the chocolate rectal thermometers, they say they have learned from their mistakes, only time will tell.