Frozen with Cocoa

There is nothing better than a hot cup of cocoa with whipped cream piled high like snow on a mountain. This has nothing to do with this story but it is cold as shit as I write this story and the guy across from me at the Denny’s has a hot chocolate.

Anyways, Charlie Feldman of Freezy, Wisconsin has been brought to life after being frozen in a lake for over 30 years. Turns out he was trying to get a kidney to his local hospital for transplant.  We caught up with Charlie and asked him how the events unfolded.

Charlie said “I was with a hooker and we were having a drink and next thing I know I woke in a bathtub full of ice with a note saying I needed a kidney. I looked down and saw stitches in my body. So I immediately got out of the tub, made myself a nice hot cup of cocoa piled high with whipped cream in the shape of a mountain full of snow. After I finished my cocoa, I grabbed a cooler labeled with the word kidney on it. I ran as fast as I could to the nearest hospital. The shortest rout was across a lake and that is where I fell and landed in the semi frozen lake. “

“30 years later,” continued Charlie, ”I woke up in a hospital and found out that inside the cooler was a note from my wife.” The note said “I hope this teaches you a lesson Charlie. Next time you try and bang a hooker I won’t pretend to take your kidney, I will actually take your testicles.”

Unfortunately for Charlie, his wife  passed away 10 years ago. However, he now no longer uses prostitutes to meet his needs, at least that is what he tells us.