Gastrofly Launches!
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Every athlete is looking for that edge even if its ever so slight. Runners are no exception, they are always trying new ways to stay hydrated, move faster and run longer. Well, there is a new sports drink company who has entered the market and can help with 2 out of the 3. Chugalug Inc has introduced their new sports dink Gastorfly.
Gastorfly comes in two flavors, grape and lime but it’s not the flavors that will sell this drink, it’s the results it delivers. Gastorfly has a specialized formula that produces what the call “gas on the go” or “fart fuel”. Each little toot creates a forward momentum that helps the runner gain 2 to 3 seconds per mile which can add up for a long-distance runner.
Scientist Herman Needleman discussed his invention “Getting Gastorfly to work properly was difficult and we took painstaking effort to get the right mix of combustion without any leakage. Our first test run was a mess, literally. 3 runners shit themselves mid run, usually at the 4-mile marker. We kept working in the lab and luckily figured out the right chemical balance. It was a good thing too as we only had 4 test runners willing to try the new formula and the laundromat, we were using refused to take our laundry, not too mention the last 599 people dropped out of our testing.” He went on to say “Think about what this means to be able to fart to go faster. While the smell may be horrific and the noise extremely loud, the results speak for themselves. Remember they have no proof that the 40 runners who ended up with kidney cancer were caused by Gastorfly.”
