Not really satire.

Not really satire.

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Gentleman C- School

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By Bill Lumbergh


Many universities across the country are evaluating the best approach to making higher learning better. Universities are also looking at ways to drive revenue outside of traditional on campus education.

Dartmouth just launched “C- U” powered by Dartmouth. The school curriculum is designed where you can never achieve more than a C- cumulative GPA (2.0) The president of Dartmouth had this to say, “First of all, I graduated at only a two year school in Illinois called Oakton…I had a 1.9….today I am the president of Dartmouth….drive a BMW…need I say more….man I wish it was stick!!!”

Students are struggling with never being able to get more than a C- GPA. One student had this to say, “How in the f$#@# am I going to get into med school let alone grad school….well, my parents are no longer ragging on my grades and my new idol is Jack Black….no longer do I want to look like Albert Einstein….he was a freak anyways…and that mustache looked stupid….I would rather be a C- minus student and have a girlfriend then win a Noble Price…big deal…I have nowhere to hang that ugly piece of shit!”

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