Not really satire.

Not really satire.

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By Jack Firestone


The gift that keeps on giving and giving. Turns out after the holidays people talk about what else, but the gifts they have received. Now that all the comparing and discussion have been done, we have realized there is one common theme. The theme we are talking about is regifting and even the stories are being passed back and forth just as much as the gifts are. Not sure if it is the economy or people just don’t have enough time to go shopping, either way these gift are getting passed around more than a virus (too soon?)

One women who asked to not be named (her name is Tina Paulson) said, “I love to regift or get away with not buying gifts for people. For example, when I get makeup at a store they might give away a free makeup bag, boom I now have a gift to give. Sometimes I will even go into my bathroom and look for a cream or bottle of something that I can regift. That is a little more work as I have to somehow fill up the bottle to appear new. I did the same thing at one of those parties where they pick a gift and someone else can take it away. At that party I had an awesome bottle of vodka, or in this case a bottle of water. The best part is with that gift they will never know who gave it to them.”

We also spoke with Thomas Cultran, a notorious regifter in his company. Tom said, “ I am so well known for regifting that I now made up a special gift box called The Regift box. The box has a note that tells the person not to open the box, but to save it as a gift to give back to me for any special occasion.”

Families are also victim to a different form of regifting called the Boomerang gift, a gift that you hope comes back to you. Some adult kids have been caught buying clothes that are not the right fit for their family member, just in the hope that they can receive the gift back. People have even asked for a divorce based on gifts that were really a gift for themselves. For any spouse out there thinking of getting a cleaning product like a nice vacuum, don’t do it, it’s not worth it. If you insist on doing such a thing, feel free to hit me up for my divorce attorney’s number, he will know exactly what to do.

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