Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Technology

Google Analytics and Performance

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By Bill Lumbergh


Every online company is faced with increasing site visits and conversion to drive revenue. Strong numbers mean more chances to create online sales.

Lawrence Sitstand developed a business model that increases site visits domestically. The model is simple and is greatly increasing site visits for several companies. James Piresty the III of IBM had this to say, “Every day the numbers go up!!”.

Lawrence had this to say about how the model works, “I basically drive from suburb to suburb in my shit car….I turn my computer on in each suburb and bring up the companies URL I am working for….I do this all day from state to state going to different suburbs……it sucks because I have to cover my own gas…..but after a month and some car repairs they get new site visits in different suburbs all over the country….their site visit metrics increase in different places because of me……nothing dumb about  it…yeah….I am a bit out of my mind….but I also comb my hair with my tongue…don’t judge!”

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