Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Business

He Fired His Boss?

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By Bill Lumbergh


Dave Jargon has been with Initech for the last 25 years. For the most part, it has been smooth sailing with several promotions. However, when he was in the bathroom, he caught his boss whacking off. He didn’t just catch him in the act, he quickly caught all of it on video (6.5 seconds). At that point, Dave realized he had ammunition for later use.

6 months later, Dave was brought into a room with HR and his boss Samir. Samir was right about to fire him and then what happened next set a new trend for years to come. Dave gets up….grabs his phone….pulls it out right before Samir is about to lay him off…..Dave screams in front of HR and Samir..”You are fired….check this out you moron….and you had to put whip cream on it…what the f%#%$##……you truly are a stupid asswhipe!” At that point, HR fired Samir and made Dave head of loss prevention and security and doubled his salary.

Dave had these final words, “I whack off all the time at work…..but not in the bathroom…usually in the basement with Milton……he is into crazy bat ass shit..so am I…..but the basement is far less evasive and meant for crazy shit like that anyways……man Samir is an idot….I finally bought the house in Mailbu!”

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