Not really satire.

Not really satire.

Sports

Hockey Fan Experience

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The NHL is trying to give its fans a better in-game experience and is trying out several ideas to meet its goal (yes pun intended). They have tried to give select fans an inside look of what a goalie experiences during games. The NHL has given 2 fans a chance to sit inside the goal and watch the game from those premium seats. We spoke with Ronald Fern about his in-game fan experience, “First off, it is so hard to see the puck because the goalie was in my way for the most part and boy does he get pissed when you ask him to move. He whacked me three times to shut me up and I was ok with that because I felt as though I was actually playing. The view when the puck was behind the net was fantastic as I could see all the slashing and body checks up close and personal and you could even hear the smack talk. You wouldn’t believe how many hockey players insist they sleep with other player’s moms and wives. It was the best two periods of my life to watch hockey.” It turns out Ronald got a puck to the mouth, and it knocked him out cold on a 3rd period goal. The NHL was worried that Ronald was going to sue them, but it turns out he felt like a real player, especially now that he is missing his 2 front teeth.

The NHL believes this new experience is a success and will soon move on to other ideas to bring fans closer to the game. The next idea is to have a fan on each end hanging 15 feet above the ice and if that is not enough they will have the refs carry young fans on their back using Baby Bjorn technology in an effort to create new fans. They have decided to not have the seat above the goal as they are still waiting for a fan to get out out of his coma from a slap shot to his noggin.

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