I Will Not Accept!

By BILL LUMBERGH

Every year academic elites earn a variety of academic scholarships to pay their way through college. It has become an expense that has priced young students further away from the opportunity to extend their education. The fences just keep getting pushed back and stacking the odds against the education they deserve. The cost rises every year and now out of state universities are well over 60K per year in just tuition. Sadly, many kids will never get the chance to go and even more will go into debt they can never saw coming.

Lisa Freebs was offered a full academic and room/boarding (all inclusive) to Colgate university on the east coast. Clearly a fine pedigree that would serve her future well. Well, she has emphatically decided to not accept this generous and fortunate opportunity.

“I feel incredibly insulted…what, these dipshits think I can’t afford college…..my dad is a partner at KPMG and my mom is an Anesthesiologists…….assholes think we don’t have the money….we don’t even know what do with all this money….and my dad doesn’t pay taxes because he says its stupid…..so, we net more money than most…we have a tablecloth made from benjamin’s….other than that….super nice of them to offer me the scholarship”, stated Lisa last week.

Her family is in the process of filing a lawsuit for defamation towards rich snobby families and along with punitive damages. Their attorney had this to say, “Lisa and her family are appalled……I mean, who offers a scholarship to the fortunate…..how insulting……and the family is already going through other stresses since her father is being sued by the federal government for not paying taxes…leave these people alone…..on a sidebar, the fees I am collecting for this case are building my vacation home on Necker Island…….hopefully this takes years to settle….I mean, leave these poor people alone….I mean leave these exceedingly non tax paying people alone!!”

The case begins next week.