It’s The Celebration of Our Nation

July 4^th is almost here! And you know what that means. Hot dogs on the grill. Beer in the coolers. Lathering the kids up with Bug Spray. And Fireworks, Fireworks, Fireworks.

But you don’t have to trek to any giant Fireworks shows, events, or extravaganzas to get that explosive feel for the day on which we celebrate our Independence. You always have the opportunity to have your own show right at home in the comfort of your driveway or the street in front of your house.

That’s where Teddy “2 Fingers” Wochwell comes in. Teddy has been stocking up and supplying your favorite fireworks for 32-years in State Line, Mississippi (Population 458). On the corner of I-42 and Main, right next to Greer’s Cashsaver, you will see a faded sign over a tin trailer that reads, “Wochwell Worx – Blow ‘Em Up”. This is the haven for the biggest collection of fireworks south of Quitman, Mississippi (population 964).

Teddy “2 Fingers” boasts the widest array of fireworks in the state, and after seeing the facility, who are we to argue. There are Snakes, Smoke Bombs, Snap and Pops, Sparklers, and Poppers. Your basic Wal-Mart variety fireworks. But beyond that, the choices are limitless.

There are Bottle Rockets, Skyrockets, and Cherry Bombs, as well. Although not “legal,” these are more “frowned upon” than illegal. The real fun comes when Teddy starts the show and tell:

“We have M-80s, M-100s, Quarter Sticks, and Silver Salutes which are all a little bigger and more explosive than your typical Bottle Rockets and Cherry Bombs. But the real fun is in our Anti-CPSC (Consumer Product Safety Commission) section,” Teddy tells us. “We have Blockbusters, which are actually illegal to manufacture or possess without an ATF High Explosives Manufacturing License. They’re also known as M-1000s.”

Teddy tells MPL a story about his experience with Blockbusters.

“Me and my cousin Julip… she was tough as nails… we were pretty ripped up one night and decided to have a contest where the one that could hold a Blockbuster the longest without letting go or throwing it away (while lit) would win a 6-pack of Miller High Life. I was like, for a 6-pack of primo beer, there ain’t no way I’m losing this bet. She let that wick get about a quarter way down before tossing it on the roof of my house. That thing exploded and took off about 50 shingles with it. Meanwhile, while I’m looking at that, the one I’m holding blows up right in my hand. Man, that was a mess! Blew off my ring, middle, and index fingers. Luckily, the heat from the explosion actually seared the wound on the spot. Didn’t need stitches or nothing. Man oh man, did we laugh! And that 6-pack didn’t last long either. I gave her one as a consolation prize.”

Teddy pointed out, with his right index finger, the Mortars fireworks that he carries. These are cylinders that shoot sparkling fireworks into the air. These are quite illegal. Teddy tells us, “I have people sign a waiver that does not hold us responsible if they get caught with ‘em.” After checking into the legalities of such a waiver, MPL found that it is not legally binding at all. We told Teddy but he disagreed with us. He said, “Agree to disagree.”

Teddy gave us a story about Mortars, as well. “My son, Jayden, and his friends were pretty well lit one night. This is back when he was just starting high school. You know teenagers. They think they are invisible. [We are sure Teddy meant “invincible”.] Jayden and his buddies decided to lay on the front lawn and shoot the Mortar Missiles while the tubes were in their mouths. Looked like fun. Me and my wife, Junefer, watched through the window from the TV room. Those Mortars shot out fast and high. Jayden’s pal, Deke, started losing his grip on the tube with his teeth and it started leaning to the left until it started shooting sideways at their buddy, Clem. We laughed so hard we were almost throwing up. But we will definitely all miss Clem.”

Wochwell Worx – Blow ‘Em Up is open 364 days a year. The only day they are closed is actually July 4^th. “That is the one day we get to relish all the fruit in our loins,” says Teddy. Although stated completely wrong, we understand what he means.

You can view Teddy “2 Fingers” Wochwell’s website for Wochwell Worx – Blow ‘Em Up at www.blowem’up_you_must_sign_a_waiver.com.