Jeff Spicoli Takes Charge of California Finances

Many states today are suffering financially just to survive. California has been in peril for many years and has found a way to bring in dollars and no longer raise taxes.

The California legislature has enacted a new law that states, “Each resident in California must rob two banks and return the money back to the state.” (All out of state robberies immediately become tax credits for each CA resident).

Young adults over 16, but not yet 18, are mandated to rob at least one bank and Bill Swaworth’s lunch money or his dumb ass sister’s piggy bank. The result have resulted in an influx of cashflow to the state of California, allowing taxes to be reduced. Who says today’s youth is worthless?

We spoke with the head of the California State Commerce Department, Jeff Spicoli, and he was quoted as saying, “This is working out really well.  Our future plans include setting up a VENMO account where stolen money will be deposited immediately back into the accounts of California residents with no additional work on behalf of their residents.

“We are proud of the people of the state of California for banning together and helping the state and helping the banks in California improve security!