Jimmy Carter Decided He Wants to Live Forever

First and foremost, all presidents deserve respect for serving in office. All jokes at MPL are never poking fun of people who take on public office. As American’s, we need to back anyone giving it the old college try. Hardest job and role where you will get fully exploited is the “President”. Be respectful as an American, if you are one.

Back to the real news at MPL. Former President, Jimmy Carter has decided he wants to live forever. After further discussions with his family and the CEO of Skippy Peanut Butter, he wants to live eternally. We had a chance to speak with Jimmy at the Chamonix in France while he was waiting at the top (95 year old crazy ass dude)  and here is what he had to say, “Look, my ass may be hitting the floor (or snow), but my pee is still yellow and lots of warm blood in these old veins…shit, I might run for the pres again….I have no plans to die and my doctor said I am going to live forever……they ran a bunch of tests….sounds like I can outlive the bowhead whale……I wonder if there is anything better than Metamucil…..stuff tastes like shit…give me some damn hot wings now…it is justifiable diarrhea !”