John Deere Makes Major Move
Share
Midwest, USA
September 2023
As deer hunting season begins October 1st across the country, but gases prices continue to soar, the John Deere Corporation has made a startling announcement. All gas powered John Deere products will be pulled by deer starting on October 1st and running through December 1st, when reindeer will begin to take over for the winter months.
The idea came about when Illinois soybean farmer, and avid deer hunter, Mac Patrick, had a thought. ‘Instead of killing deer just for game, why don’t we put those little buggers to work?” As he emailed John Deere corporate with the idea, the stuffy suits just thought it was a prank. Mr. Patrick decided to send them a picture and the idea of pulling the John Deere equipment was born. Corporate ran the numbers and thought it was a no brainer—“We could inflate the cost of our equipment knowing that your average farmer would think they were ‘saving money on not using as much gas,’ all the while we’d know our profits would be through the roof. And until winter gets stupid harsh, we could work the deer to the bone, then just swapping them out for some reindeer, and just continue that loop for the foreseeable future.”
A call to Santa Claus was made, about using some of his reindeer, but Mrs. Claus picked up the phone and less than politely told us, “Kiss my ass,” and slammed down her phone.
