Kansas City Changes After The Super Bowl
February 21, 2023
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- Ignoring all rules of taxonomy, Andy Reed has been declared the state bird.
- The city will promote beautiful, team-themed yards in a new magazine called, Better Mahomes and Gardens.
- Juju Smith-Schuster admitted his name didn’t belong in the NFL. Will change to BangBang Smith-Wesson.
- To be respectful of the Native American culture, the team will change its name from “Chiefs” to “Upper Management.”
- The Governor stated that the city should finally change name to “Missouri City” because “we are not in $#%@ing Kansas.” Thus, the team’s new name could be Missouri City Upper Management, aka MCUM?
- Jake from State Farm will move into Pat Mahomes’ house to help count his money and dust his MVP trophies.
- It’s been rumored that Rihanna will be changing her name to Ye for the next Super Bowl and will debut a new song about matzah ball soup.
- They will make shirts of Kelce mocking crying Eagles fans called, “Travis Tees.”
- NFL warned that anyone wearing KC gear in Philly is just asking for assisted suicide
- To combat the insanely high-income taxes in Kansas City, Patrick Mahomes will send a gift-boxed stool sample to every resident. Since he shits gold, this should be better than a government stimulus check.
Sorry. I think you guys missed on this one.