Lance Armstrong Launches PED Company
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In every sport, competition can bring out the best and the worst in athletes. Athletes are constantly looking for ways to gain an edge, even willing to cheat and boxers are no exception. Very rarely do we find out how far and crazy boxers will go to create an advantage against their foe.
We are fortunate to have come across cheating in a way you would never have thought of in boxing. The harder a boxer hits, the harder their competitor will fall and Gary “Granite Fists” Wilkersom took that to heart as he tried to gain an edge. Gary wanted to make his fists even harder and even went so far to have Viagra compounded into a cream so he could rub it onto his hands in the hopes that his hands would get real hard. He rubbed it all over his hands 1 hour prior to his bout with “Bobbing” Bobby Davis.
What Gary did not know, was that he was not the only one willing to cheat in this bout. In fact, Bobby wanted his face to soften up to be able to take the punches more efficiently. He thought if he could soften his face before the match, he would be prime to take on Gary’s punches. Bobby had stool softener tablets made into a cream and also rubbed this on his face 1 hour prior to the match.
Unfortunately, neither of these techniques were effective in accomplishing the desired outcome. However, Gary’s cream brought on an unintended side effect which may have caused the bout to end in a draw. Gary rubbed his cream on 1 hour before the bout and did not wash his hands. He then had to urinate 10 minutes later, causing the cream to have direct contact with his penis. As he stepped into the ring his fists may not have been hard but he sure was (erect Penis). His erection was so noticeable that “Bobbing” Bobby was doing anything and everything to avoid Gary “Granite Fists, (More like Granite Penis” at all costs. It was the first time a Boxer ended a 12-round bout with no punches thrown and never allowing a punch to connect. In fact, it is estimated that Bobby Davis ran the equivalent of a marathon just to avoid his hard fighting opponent. He was able to stay erect while so too was Gary.
This has sparked an interest in Lance Armstrong starting a new drug company. Expected to launch in the fall and comes with a book on how to lie.
