Leader of The Sedition Squad, Matt Gaetz, is Teflon
Share
The news broke this morning that the US Representative for Florida’s 1st congressional district, Matt Gaetz, will not be charged with sex-trafficking.
In an effort to get more detail on the decision this MPL reporter tried to make his way down to the Sunshine State on the next plane. Unfortunately, due to prohibitive financial circumstances, and the fact that no one actually knows who handles the expenses at MPL, I was not able to obtain the necessary funds to buy said airline ticket.
So, I did the next best thing… Facebook! And I found three of Matt Gaetz’s “Besties.” Bubblegum Diamond. Tess Mandy Wilson. And Sexy Tina. I chatted with them this morning to get as much information on the decision of the DOJ as possible. We conveniently put together a spur-of-the-moment group chat. I asked if we could ZOOM or FaceTime, but they said that would cost $99.98. I went with the group chat.
Jel: Thanks for meeting with me today.
Bubblegum Diamond (BD): Hi Dear.
Sexy Tina (ST): What’s you’re nam?
Tess Mandy Wilson (TMW): Howbout a Selfy?
Jel: First let me ask how you all know Matt Gaetz.
ST: Oooooooo. He is coooooool. He is a reel suger Daddy! He likes my pix. BIGTIME!!!! VENMO! VENMO! VENMO!
TMW: I know him 4 long way. Long time. Since school.
Jel: You attended school together?
TMW: I M in school.
Jel: What do you think about the DOJ dropping the sex-trafficking charges?
BD: Who is DOJ? Sound sexy!!!!!!
ST: Mattie sex in traffic? I believe it!Mattie do sex everywhere!
Jel: Were you surprised that he was originally brought up on charges of having sex with a 17-year-old girl and holding “sex parties” for his political and financial colleagues, as well?
BD: Awesome parties!!!!!!!!!!!
TMW: Are you saying he cheating on me!
Jel: It seems that witnesses were questioned and labeled “not credible.” Were any of you contacted for comments or statements?
ST: His house is BIG! Awsum parties!
BD: How about a selfy?
ST: This is BS! My kid is sick. Can you help me? I need a VISA gift card.
Jel: Do you agree with House Republican, Lauren Boebert, when she says, “It’s time for many in the mainstream media, late-night comedy and many more to apologize to Matt Gaetz. Exoneration!” What are your thoughts on Boebert and her relationship with Gaetz?
BD: Bitch! She’s a BITCH
TMW: SKANK!!!!
ST: Can you help me or not?
TMW: She is a BIGTIM downer. She is a liar. Bitch owes me money!
Jel: So you’ve seen them in the same social circles? Or how have you seen them relate to each other when the camera is off?
TMK: There are no cameras allowed. NO WAY! NO CAMERAS. Tried that once and got my ass beat down.
ST: All I need is $199.98.
Jel: It was said in the New York Times that some witnesses likely to testify against Mr. Gaetz might not have stood up well under cross-examination. Would you have taken the stand, and if so, how do you think you would have done?
BD: I won’t stand for that shit. I will sit.
TMW: Pay me and I say what I need to. Dude is cool and a fool. Peep and creep, you know. Creepy but rich as fuck. pay me pay me pay me
Jel: Ladies. Thank you for your time.
BD: Out!
TMW: Hope he is chill as a muthafucka cuz I wanna party soon
ST: Hello Dear. Wat’s yor name?
TPIC… Top Pedophile In Charge.
This piece of crap makes me sick. Everything about him is creepy. He looks creepy. When he speaks, his delivery is creepy. And everything you read about him just screams “CREEP!!!”
I hope he goes to jail and gets gang raped every day. They treat baby-fuckers really special on the inside!
Butthead. Seriously. The guy looks like Butthead from the cartoon.
How did this guy get those charges dropped? Aren’t there like a dozen girls under 18 that are witness to this? The problem is that there are so many more of his political friends that were at his parties. They all piled it on Joel Greenberg in December. That sicko is serving like 20-years as their Fall Guy. I’m sure Gaetz paid him plenty to take the fall.
Skank chat room. Too funny. I’m sure that is his speed.