Leave Me Alone

By Jack Firestone

Steven Forrester hates people with a passion. He does a lot of traveling and can’t stand people trying to have small talk with him. Steven is also an entrepreneur and has developed a business for people like him.

We tried to interview Steven for the story but the only comment we got was “Leave me the F%ck alone!” He truly does hate people.

We researched his online business and found he had a 3 tier package for travelers. The first and least extensive package includes a smelly spray, a deaf simulator. We are not sure what that actually is as we are too cheap to purchase it and Steven won’t take our calls. The middle tier is aimed at men, which includes everything in the first package plus a jock strap that simulates an erection as well as a t shirt that says I am normal. The most expensive tier comes complete with a traveler who will never talk to you unless you ask them a question and looks like they live in a garbage can. The extra travel will consistently intercept anyone who is trying to talk to you and make it very uncomfortable for them.

So far we have reached out to 10 clients for comment and they all seem to have similar statements which include “Leave me the F alone and don’t call back!”