Low Cost Flights
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Airline companies are always looking for ways to cut costs in an effort to increase their bottom line. Cost Cutter Airlines, is a new airline in it’s infancy and delivers a new brand of flying experience. Fred Ingleman CEO and founder of the airline shared his companies philosophy, “Airlines are trying to take your money at every chance they get. Want more leg room, pay up, want to bring a bag, pay up, want Wi-Fi, pay up. No matter what you do they charge you for it. At Cost Cutter we are cheap and have no thrills, or seats for that matter. We have designed our plane to look like a subway car, that way we can get more people on our plane and charge them less to fly.”
Fred described how his design works, “ We actually have poles that people can hold onto and we can strap them onto the pole in case we hit turbulence. There are also bungee cords attached to the ankles in case we hit an air pocket and drop suddenly. The kicker is people can bring their luggage on the plane lock it to the ground and use it as a seat. We actually have luggage belts that act as a seat belt. We are so cheap that we used to buy two ply toilet paper and make two single rolls out of it and then we decided we could cut costs even more by making our passengers bring their own toilet paper or we can sell them toilet paper on a per square basis.”
Cost Cutter Airlines charges only 29.99 per flight and have been very profitable so far. Ingleman explained exactly where most of there profits have come from, “Our most profitable days to fly are Tuesday’s because the Mexican restaurant in our terminal serves two dollar tacos and their employees have no idea how to wash their hands. Our toilet paper earnings go through the roof those days. We learned our lesson after the first Tuesday when we weren’t prepared, what a mess that was..”
Everything seems great for this low cost airline, the only problem they are experiencing is the number of homeless people who ride their airline. The airline is looking at adding an on plane shower where other riders can pay to have the homeless showered in an effort to get rid of the urine smell. The good news is that the airline gives $1 of every shower purchased to fight homelessness, so it’s a win win.
