Major Hotel Chains Enact New Guest Policy

As of October, all hotel chains will be abiding by a new federal policy that forces guests at hotels to share their room with another guest. We spoke with the governing body of hospitality, Lucile Solo, here is what she had to say, “Splitzies offers all kinds of opportunities……cuts the cost of your room by half……….stronger chances to “try” things you might not try…….sleep with a fat guy……talk with someone who is marginally annoying to see how long you can take it……experience the discomforts of being in a room with someone who has a pile of hair on their hair on their shoulders……..and lastly and the best part, a chance to use your blue light at the hotel and guess what that old cheese odor really is……we feel this will improve the hotel experience and increase occupancy!” Next in line to open their doors is SHAR-RITZ Enterprises……..single beds that guests will have to share with people of equal weight next to portraits of Jeffery Dahmer.