MAN ACCIDENTALLY SENDS DICK PICK TO OWN WIFE

In what can only be described as a tragedy, a local man made a catastrophic mistake today when he accidentally sent a dick pick to his own wife. The picture in question, which can now be found circulating the internet thanks to his enraged, soon-to-be ex-wife, was intended for the man’s girlfriend on the side. The caption, “Captain Winky misses his mistress” proved to be the smoking gun. When asked how he could make such a critical blunder, the man had this to say, “It was cold. Okay. And how the hell does Ashley Madison not have an FAQ for this. Bullshit. What am I paying for?” In response to the picture, all reports indicate his wife immediately sent back a picture of her own boyfriend, a competition body builder, as well as, a copy of divorce papers which had previously been drawn up by her attorney. She could not be reached for comment but her girlfriends were quick to note that her soon-to-be ex-husband did not measure up. The man later filed suit against the phone company, alleging that the mistake was not his own. When we reached the manufacturers of the phone, their spokesman told us, “The error was clearly not related to phone technology, at all. This is simply an example of frivolous litigation by a jackass.” The suit against the phone company was quickly tossed out by the judge, however, divorce proceedings are moving forward.